Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Workaholic's Tantrum

It's tough to be human. Tough to get sick and feel like you have no control and you just want to feel better. But then, the body knows when it needs to slow down and as we get older, we seem to push the waking/sleeping ratio further and further. The voice of my mother ever echoes: sleep is a waste of time. Strangely, I don't remember her being sick a lot but I sure remember her doing artwork well into the early hours, so maybe I inherited the need to stay awake and not the fortitude to pull it off.

The student side of me often stares a long time at a learning task, taking longer than I should to work through possible solutions. The teacher persona wonders what more I could do to make topics as engaging and personal for students as they are for me. Either of these scenarios call for reflection, intentional planning, and long hours. I do believe there are no shortcuts to full understanding and deep connections. So, when illness strikes, it short circuits the best of plans and makes the work process even longer.

All this to say when I have a lot to do and fall sick, instead of using time to recover, I spend what feels like endless hours thinking about what isn't done. Sure doesn't allow for rest and I do know it will all be there waiting for me regardless of the worry. Sometimes we all need to just pull up the covers, sip a hot drink, and get strong. Maybe someday I will learn.

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